Butterfly (My Conversion Story Part 3)


Also Part One and Part Two

Something extraordinary happened!  I began to hear Jesus.  He started answering my prayers.  He started guiding me and giving me things to do. My prayers were real now and not empty.  I was getting to know Jesus. Now I realize God was always there and always speaking to me but I had gotten really good at tuning him out.  It’s like when I worked in Labor and Delivery, there were crying babies all the time.  I learned to tune them out. I think we do this with each other too!  Then God told me I needed to go to daily Mass more often.  I must have gone to Mass over 40 straight days in a row after that!  Twice on Wednesdays and Sundays!  Soon I was so full of Love and Joy I felt I would burst.  WOW!

I began talking to people.  I started volunteering for things in the parish. And I kept reading books; Into Your Hands Father, He Leadeth Me, Rediscover Catholicism.  Jesus was my teacher in adoration.  He would teach me things and then I would go out into the world and hear them from Priests or the saints in writings.  It was incredible.  I stopped watching TV.  Not on purpose it just happened.  I stopped shopping all the time.  I stopped trying to change people.  Heck I couldn’t even change myself how can I expect to change someone else?  I began to love people!

(Now I believe because I know Jesus in my heart)

Next I learned that I should, and I longed to, have a relationship with the Blessed Virgin Mary.  I began to ‘do’ things to help with this.  I started to pray the rosary daily.  I joined a bible study about Mary.  When I would pray in adoration I would kneel and imagine I was resting my head on Jesus’ lap and He would stroke my hair.  I started staying after daily mass and kneeling and praying.  One time I felt that I was actually resting my head on Jesus’ lap.  I could feel Him stroking my hair.  I know I was still in church but it felt as though I was not.  I could not sense anything there.  Just Jesus and me.  I couldn’t hear or feel anything in the church.   Then I became aware of Mary in front of me to my left.  I could just tell she was there.  She never said anything or touched me.  Nothing.  Just stood there.  Then slowly that began to fade and the church faded in.  It was truly amazing!  There were still others in the church talking and I hadn’t heard them before.  This kind of thing kept happening to me.  I got a journal and began writing down my thoughts and experiences.  (The title of my blog comes from one of these experiences)  God is so merciful and wonderful.  I have even heard from Mother Mary at times.  I am well on my journey now to God and I know I will never turn away.

Scripture is alive to me now!  Words no longer are “pie in the sky” but have real meaning.  At first when I heard Jesus tell me something I would need Him to tell me several times and even confirm it through another source.  But soon it got easier.  Now I feel like I am in constant conversation with Jesus and I encounter much less doubt when hearing Him.  If you truly love God then you will love his people, and help them find Him.

A diagram of who I am now.  Now I live for Christ alone.  Everything I do I do for Him and thus it brings me great Joy.

me

Now I thank God everyday for Life.  I thank Him for His love me and I thank Him for my love for Him.

Galations 2:20-21 “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  I do not nullify the grace of God; for if justification were through the law, then Christ died to no purpose.”


5 thoughts on “Butterfly (My Conversion Story Part 3)”

  1. Cindy,
    Your blogs are amazing and after reading them (several times) I find myself longing to dig deeper and to have what you have found through your faith.
    God bless you, friend, and thank you for the blessing of your friendship

  2. …. and what a beautiful butterfly of Christ you are …. your smile and bright eyes radiate your love for Jesus and His love for you radiates out to the rest of us. What a beautiful expression of HIs love for us you have become! Pray your way through life ….. or better, make your life a prayer to Jesus … to the Trinity.

    Permit a brief diversion. Being a power walker I always thought about doing a marathon but felt I’d need more energy , more everything than I had to do it. For years I had convinced myself it was a hopeless cause or one requiring too much time to attain. Then I realized it was all mental in my head – just me holding myself back ……. so I started pushing my body and mind harder …. until I knew I could do it. I trained walking until I could do 5-6mph mile after mile. I waited until I was 65 to try so it was a struggle. My first half marathon try came in Madison Wisconsin with my youngest son who was a student at UW. He did the marathon and I did the half. I did another half in Denver in July and knew I could go the distance. I did the Denver Rock n Roll Marathon in October ….. a mile high….. and finishing was a struggle …. but I never considered quitting. Okay, the charley horse pain at mile 16 and 21 had me thinking but I pushed on. Crossing the finish line was amazing – a feeling I won’t forget – but I realized crossing that finish line wasn’t the “finish” but really just a start that could only get better. Now I do races every year.

    Really it was a little like you willing and pushing your cocooned self to that next level of finding that deep relationship with Jesus …….. then you heard His voice …… and everything changed ….. forever. Don’t ever look back to the past as He will offer you an amazing future. Yes, the journey will always present challenges if we let it or we can accept these “bumps in the road” as opportunities to continue making our life a loving prayer to Him. Your blog will no doubt have many more entries as life’s unplanned trying moments and deeply loving ones enter into your life. But as you said, He was always there for you and always will be, as will His mother.

  3. Hi Cindy,
    Your words are so powerful. As I prepare to leave in two days for a mens’ retreat, your blog reminds me to be silent so I can hear God speaking to me.
    Thank you, friend.
    Mike R

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